Texts From Last Night

trubieco661's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals. http://tfl.nu/kw2o
  Replies (13) Good night (5126) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace. http://tfl.nu/irh2
  Replies (39) Good night (16106) Bad night (1234)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night? http://tfl.nu/3xi4
  Replies (10) Good night (864) Bad night (2542)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago. http://tfl.nu/bvjh
  Replies (5) Good night (3205) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  haha i know

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt. (1-406): haha i know http://tfl.nu/vo1w
  Replies (21) Good night (7487) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'. http://tfl.nu/j3su
  Replies (11) Good night (3543) Bad night (1369) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing http://tfl.nu/c7lz
  Replies (23) Good night (5842) Bad night (1337) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience. http://tfl.nu/k7n6
  Replies (12) Good night (4363) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar. http://tfl.nu/j0wd
  Replies (19) Good night (5740) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body! http://tfl.nu/a54s
  Replies (22) Good night (4735) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Worst stoner tragedy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo. (715): Worst stoner tragedy. http://tfl.nu/7uyr
  Replies (41) Good night (1723) Bad night (6209)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by http://tfl.nu/7cd3
  Replies (13) Good night (3893) Bad night (879) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions. http://tfl.nu/8qmh
  Replies (23) Good night (3584) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2??? http://tfl.nu/dt4w
  Replies (51) Good night (5681) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex" http://tfl.nu/sy7y
  Replies (42) Good night (1267) Bad night (14316) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/3dvn
  Replies (18) Good night (2942) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands http://tfl.nu/c6ww
  Replies (83) Good night (49033) Bad night (2040) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert. http://tfl.nu/ehir
  Replies (38) Good night (1439) Bad night (3507) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube http://tfl.nu/nmda
  Replies (28) Good night (4794) Bad night (1144) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here. http://tfl.nu/5v02
  Replies (19) Good night (671) Bad night (4720)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper. http://tfl.nu/m3p5
  Replies (9) Good night (2169) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice. http://tfl.nu/z7v3
  Replies (14) Good night (4386) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed. http://tfl.nu/8aru
  Replies (28) Good night (4987) Bad night (1933) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it. http://tfl.nu/00co
  Replies (9) Good night (4222) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers" http://tfl.nu/rpqk
  Replies (11) Good night (609) Bad night (2260)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever. http://tfl.nu/1b0y
  Replies (57) Good night (1170) Bad night (7240)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying. http://tfl.nu/u472
  Replies (30) Good night (8899) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.

  (1-661): View more from California

  What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up. (1-661): What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how" http://tfl.nu/sghh
  Replies (50) Good night (29858) Bad night (1107)