Texts From Last Night

richie07's Favorites Texts:

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  (817): View more from Texas

  I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.

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  (817): I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck. http://tfl.nu/i3zz
  Replies (15) Good night (7736) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap

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  (904): masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap http://tfl.nu/sdgt
  Replies (9) Good night (3530) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.

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  (850): I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme. http://tfl.nu/wwup
  Replies (4) Good night (1863) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.

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  (613): Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/rte8
  Replies (1) Good night (2740) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.

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  (763): Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night. http://tfl.nu/r7p2
  Replies (7) Good night (5460) Bad night (995) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child

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  (817): just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child http://tfl.nu/48ux
  Replies (31) Good night (7840) Bad night (1334) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I really wanna talk..

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down

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  (817): I really wanna talk.. (1-817): if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down http://tfl.nu/qj3j
  Replies (82) Good night (7770) Bad night (769) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.

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  (817): I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/7tmi
  Replies (36) Good night (9322) Bad night (944) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.

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  (817): The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen. http://tfl.nu/gj69
  Replies (38) Good night (12602) Bad night (1064) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.

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  (817): Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him. http://tfl.nu/25q8
  Replies (63) Good night (27873) Bad night (1190) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?

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  (925): is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday? http://tfl.nu/7ar8
  Replies (14) Good night (3151) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze

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  (402): Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze http://tfl.nu/3a8k
  Replies (6) Good night (2659) Bad night (1070)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?

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  (519): What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand? http://tfl.nu/srza
  Replies (10) Good night (4963) Bad night (1626) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.

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  (214): You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight. http://tfl.nu/qr87
  Replies (23) Good night (9190) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."

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  (814): In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands." http://tfl.nu/l3oo
  Replies (17) Good night (9189) Bad night (1398) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.

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  (806): with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible. http://tfl.nu/qot7
  Replies (31) Good night (10043) Bad night (1020) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

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  (541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward http://tfl.nu/dpap
  Replies (358) Good night (59119) Bad night (7123) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

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  (315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love http://tfl.nu/v9ss
  Replies (131) Good night (60845) Bad night (1891) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

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  (812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow http://tfl.nu/ea94
  Replies (235) Good night (64838) Bad night (2522)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (297) Good night (73378) Bad night (2468) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

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  (203): I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter. http://tfl.nu/8kyg
  Replies (289) Good night (62255) Bad night (4267)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

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  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (248) Good night (66709) Bad night (2998) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

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  (214): Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever. http://tfl.nu/p67s
  Replies (179) Good night (85890) Bad night (3076) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would do horrible things to your vagina.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Prove it.

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  (617): I would do horrible things to your vagina. (978): Prove it. http://tfl.nu/qld3
  Replies (182) Good night (93468) Bad night (4595)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy

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  (443): shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy http://tfl.nu/uhwk
  Replies (13) Good night (3509) Bad night (964) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.

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  (843): She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that. http://tfl.nu/vu87
  Replies (14) Good night (6933) Bad night (930) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"

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  (419): then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!" http://tfl.nu/taup
  Replies (10) Good night (4225) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.

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  (530): the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been. http://tfl.nu/so6l
  Replies (8) Good night (771) Bad night (3002) Order T-Shirt
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  (498): View more from

  You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.

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  (498): You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/rks2
  Replies (7) Good night (3178) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt