I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize