I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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