Texts From Last Night

outkastedskater3's Favorites Texts:

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (833) Good night (142137) Bad night (9312) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!

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  (+44): he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?! http://tfl.nu/a2n2
  Replies (19) Good night (4520) Bad night (582) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.

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  (520): He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep. http://tfl.nu/tjlf
  Replies (15) Good night (6806) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.

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  (774): I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass. http://tfl.nu/6q4x
  Replies (27) Good night (11382) Bad night (1055) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.

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  (281): She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this. http://tfl.nu/u3zd
  Replies (46) Good night (9953) Bad night (1203)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  there was naked duck duck goose

  (703): View more from Virginia

  how does that even get suggested?!

  (815): View more from Illinois

  after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal

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  (815): there was naked duck duck goose (703): how does that even get suggested?! (815): after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal http://tfl.nu/ykdy
  Replies (20) Good night (7556) Bad night (886)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls

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  (504): i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls http://tfl.nu/i5gr
  Replies (12) Good night (4663) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.

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  (218): time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink. http://tfl.nu/47ui
  Replies (15) Good night (3994) Bad night (1006) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  happy early fathers day!!!

  (829): View more from Dominican Rep

  im not a father

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  about that...

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  (843): happy early fathers day!!! (829): im not a father (843): about that... http://tfl.nu/tk4z
  Replies (225) Good night (7503) Bad night (72137)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  Two?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Two.

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  (404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs. (1-404): Two? (404): Two. http://tfl.nu/opzf
  Replies (260) Good night (3959) Bad night (78180)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.

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  (561): i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks. http://tfl.nu/2sae
  Replies (17) Good night (12402) Bad night (814) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

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  (802): OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made. http://tfl.nu/87yq
  Replies (110) Good night (45977) Bad night (2481) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I'm going to rape someone's good day.

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  (253): I'm going to rape someone's good day. http://tfl.nu/to10
  Replies (14) Good night (3610) Bad night (1119) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

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  (906): I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon. http://tfl.nu/l4la
  Replies (25) Good night (6609) Bad night (1164) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test

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  (516): im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test http://tfl.nu/0qhc
  Replies (77) Good night (51895) Bad night (2022) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

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  (443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart http://tfl.nu/al7w
  Replies (182) Good night (51513) Bad night (1868)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands

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  (717): hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands http://tfl.nu/c6ww
  Replies (83) Good night (49039) Bad night (2041) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Tie

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  (201): I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet (908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building (201): Tie http://tfl.nu/a5wy
  Replies (97) Good night (43616) Bad night (1462)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

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  (812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow http://tfl.nu/ea94
  Replies (235) Good night (64832) Bad night (2521)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

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  (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star... http://tfl.nu/jbo8
  Replies (491) Good night (133074) Bad night (5765)