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so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
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