oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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