it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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