Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize