There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize