ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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