no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize