I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize