Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize