That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
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I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
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You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
not ubering you a puppy
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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