I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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