he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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