Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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