i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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