You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize