I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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