I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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