Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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