So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
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Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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