im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
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