too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
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She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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