I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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