your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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