She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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