The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
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Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
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His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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