I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
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