I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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