i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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