There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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