Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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