Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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