So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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