so that wasnt chicken after all
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
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The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
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SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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