Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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