Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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