At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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