was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
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I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
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I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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