let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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