I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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