Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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