i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We're too hungover to prance.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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