woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize