I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
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The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
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If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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