I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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