Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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