your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
im drinking this country out of the recession.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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