I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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